Harry Potter and Vd Chapter 2

" Cool." Kimberley said as she walked into the side walk looking around her. " You look just like a kid in a.what's that thing muggles like to suck on and eat that is bad for your teeth?" snape asked. " Candy." She replied as she studied a tortoises shell that was encrusted with jewels. " Yes that's it. A kid in a candy store." He said. " Now lets go to Gringotts." " What Gringotts?" Kimberley asked as they began to walk toward a very large building. " A bank for witches and wizards." was the reply she got as they entered the bank.

As soon as they entered they noticed lots of people were staring at them. When they walked up towards the front desk a boy with his hair in a pony tail came up to them. " Bill Weasley at your service professor. And who might this little lady be?" he asked as he extended his hand towards her. " My names Kimberley-Ann but most people call me Kim or Kimberley." she replied as she shook his hand. " Pleasure to meet you Kimberley. I expect that you have the key?" He asked addressing Snape. " Yes vault number 100." Snape said as they walk down a flight of stairs to doors with numbers on top of them.

When they got to vault number 100 Kimberley was tired. When Bill put the key in side the lock and turned it the door creaked open and then Kimberley gasped as she saw what was in side. Hundreds of bronze coins and silver ones with more than a thousand gold ones beside them. " This is mine?" Kimberley asked marvelled at amount there was. " Yes now hurry we must get your things." snape said as she put a bundle of gold, silver and bronze coins in to a small pouch then they walked but out side the bank. " Bye Bill!" Kimberley shouted as he turned to walk backing. " Bye Kimberley!" Bill said in return.

" Were to now Uncle snape?" Kimberley asked watching children run around while their parents ran after them trying to get them to behave. " To Ollivanders." Snape said as they walked into a smaller building. " What do I get from here? " Kimberley whispered as she looked around at all of the boxes. " Your wand." was all that snape could say when an old man came up to them. " Ah professor need a new wand?" The man asked shaking Snape's hand. " No I need one for my niece." Snape said as he pushed Kimberley in front of him. " Hello young miss." Ollivander said walking towards a box and handing it her. " mahogany 12 inches with the hair of a phoenix. Go on try it." Not sure what to do Kimberley just waved the wand but the floor caught fire. " No I think." Mr Ollivander said as they spent the next hour going through every single box.

" Uncle snape why don't you go and get my other school stuff to save some time?" She suggested knowing this would probably be boring to him. " Yes I think I might just do that." he said as he walked out of the door and across the street.

The only thing Kimberley heard Mr Ollivander say was " no, defiantly not!, don't think so and not that either." but then he turned to her and asked her " what's your favourite colour?" The question was strange but Kimberley immediately said "silver" and Mr Ollivander ran off into the back and came back a few moments later with a box coloured silver. " If this doesn't work I don't know what will!" He said as he handed her the wand over.

The wand was completely silver and was very light. She gave it a light swish and flowers appeared in front of mr Ollivander. " Silver wood, don't care if it aint real I couldn't think of anything O.K. 15 inches, tail of a phoenix and a unicorn. Oldest one here. Remarkable, totally remarkable!" Mr Ollivander said as he watched Kimberley closely. " Whats remarkable?" She asked suddenly thinking some thing was wrong. " The phoenix that the tail was from was one of the first phoenix's alive and the unicorn tail was supposed to be the fastest in all of the world." He said looking her up and down. " Your future looks eventful, be careful." " O.k." Kimberley said. " How much for the wand?"

" 15 sickles please." Mr Ollivander said as he helped her give him the correct amount of money.

As soon as she was out side she felt the hotness of the sun beat down on her back and she closed her eyes and thought about a large diet coke and sitting on the beach. When she opened her eyes she let out a sigh that she didn't even know she was holding. ' I miss my friends.' she thought sadly and did not watch were she was going and she bumped into some one with fiery red hair.

" Sorry about that I wasn't looking where I was going. You all right?" asked the boy with red hair and freckles sheepishly whilst blushing while thinking about what he did and what his mother would do.

" Yes I am thank you. So what school you in?" Kimberley asked finding the boy a bit fascinating. " Hogwarts. You?" He asked as he got up and dusted him self off. " Same. Hey were are my manners! Kimberley-Ann pleased to meet you!" She said as she stuck out her left hand that still had her want in it. " Wow! Nice wand! Where you get it? Names Ron Weasley." Ron said not looking up from the wand. " In Ollivanders. I meet your brother I think, Bill." Kimberley said but before he could say any more he gulped and she turned around to see Snape watching him.

" What are you doing talking to him Kimberley?" He asked taking her hand. " I just bumped into her professor." Ron said. ' she knows HIM! Whats did she do? Wait a minute! He's acting like he's protecting her! Wait till I tell Harry and Hermione!' " Likely story Weasley, come along now Kimberley." He said pulling her with him in and out of the crowds. ' I must watch out for her around here. She would talk to anyone if they would listen.' " Uncle Snape? Whats wrong?" She asked confused at how he was acting to wards Ron. " Nothing." He said as he pulled her closer to him to make sure she didn't get lost.

When he decided to stop they were standing out side a very large and beaten down brown building that had lots of animals out side and inside it. " Lets go and get you an owl or a cat or something to take with you to Hogwarts as a pet. An owl is very good for sending letters but you could sent an owl to people from the school using one of the schools." He said walking inside the building. There were lots of cages every were and there was a strange smell coming from a lot of the cages. " You can pick anything you want but pick wisely." snape said as he left her to wander around the tiny shop.

As she walked around the little shop she saw a beautiful black and white dog and decided to go over and see it. When she got over there she noticed that the dog was a male and decided not to get it because she was used to female dogs. She walked on for what felt like ages to her. As she walked, she saw animals of all shapes and sizes. Big dogs, little dogs, ginger cats, brown cats, white cats, brown owls, grey owls, snow white owls, black rats, white rats, brown rats, snakes all colours and sizes and lots more animals.

When she got to the back of the shop she saw a white/silver phoenix sitting down on a small brown stood. As she walked closer to it, she saw that its eyes were as black as the midnight sky. The small bird, with a face that made her sure it was only a small child, looked at Kimberley then it tried to fly to her but was held back by the small, golden chain that was wrapped around its left leg. " Find anything?" Snape asked walking towards her. " Yes." Kimberley said not taking her eyes off of the bird. " What a fine choice madam, very rare this is, only sings to those worthy of its song. It has never sang before. It will only be 10 sickles please." said a very elderly witch that had her hair up in a bun and had a few fingers missing, who watched the way Kimberley acted.

After she paid for the phoenix they left for the leaky cauldron and Snape told her to go and pack as they were going to be leaving for Hogwarts in the morning.

" Were to now Uncle snape?"
Thats the Best Bit.

That is good but there are a few technical things with your writing. When a different person speaks you're supposed to take a new line.. Like:

~bella~ wrote:" Cool." Kimberley said as she walked into the side walk looking around her. " You look just like a kid in a.what's that thing muggles like to suck on and eat that is bad for your teeth?" snape asked. " Candy." She replied as she studied a tortoises shell that was encrusted with jewels. " Yes that's it. A kid in a candy store." He said. " Now lets go to Gringotts." " What Gringotts?" Kimberley asked as they began to walk toward a very large building. " A bank for witches and wizards." was the reply she got as they entered the bank.

Should be:

" Cool." Kimberley said as she walked into the side walk looking around her.
"You look just like a kid in a.what's that thing muggles like to suck on and eat that is bad for your teeth?" snape asked.
"Candy." She replied as she studied a tortoises shell that was encrusted with jewels.
"Yes that's it. A kid in a candy store." He said. " Now lets go to Gringotts."
"What Gringotts?" Kimberley asked as they began to walk toward a very large building.
"A bank for witches and wizards." was the reply she got as they entered the bank.

=]

I know, i pasted this bit from Open office,due to my slow typing which only allows it to copy all off it with no spaces.(i have a old version)

Thanks for reading it.